~I'm coming back from the dead...~


The criminal called High School Drama has caught me at last.
And I fucking hate it. Argh.
Well, basically my situation is as such; one of my friends has REALLY pissed off my other friends and now they're all at each other's throats. I'm not really insanely angry like I probably should be. I'm just... disappointed.
It's sad, because all of these friends of mine got along better with each other than me (because I'm a whiny anti-social bitch and I, unlike them, absolutely HATE yaoi.) My friends and I once got along and had fun and stuff.
And now we're having a kind of falling-out.
Seeing as I am cynical, I blame my friend's drastic (and unfortunate) change on her new habit/pastime. Not going into detail there, because that could get my friend in BIG TROUBLE. I still care about her even though she said something downright CRUEL to my younger friend, who had just had her heart broken. Aaand she's been lying to us a lot... but even though I'm an atheist I forgive far too easily and I still want to be her friend.
And I know that as soon as my friends read this, each will be trying to get me to take their side. There's nothing wrong with that. It's just that I've been in that position far too many times before - a medium between people that hate each other. The hardest part will be telling each side that I don't completely agree with them. I could end up with all three of them against me, and I really don't want that because even though they're perverted they're better people than me, and I wish I could be a better person and learn from them.
So now I'm sitting here typing this and wallowing in self-pity. Somaru-chan feels much worse, and she needs comfort FAR more than me. She's closer to Alessia, but that's for a VERY good reason. I'll be blatantly honest - I'm a lousy friend. Hence why she called ALESSIA when she was feeling down, not me. I suck at comforting people. I sat there and watched her as she was feeling all sad after we left the con and I didn't say a damn thing to make her feel better. I didn't say a damn thing at all.
I should probably talk to an actual person about this. Certainly not my parents. And Alessia might get mad because I'm not insanely angry with Leeta. Somaru-chan isn't here and I can't call long distance... so yeah. As for Leeta... she'll probably get mad because I'm not on her side. She has a reason to be upset too, because a family member of hers is in poor health right now... but I was in a position like that before my grandfather died. I didn't take it out on anyone... I just wallowed in self-pity some more. Yeah, I'm a great person. Note: my sarcasm.
So who should I talk to first? Probably Alessia, because I'll see her first... then Leeta, and maybe if I can get ahold of Somaru-chan...
But yeah. By the end of this month, I'll either have just two friends or none at all. I don't think Leeta will be very happy with me, but I can't say for sure.
Dammit, why do things have to change for the worse all the time?! I was perfectly happy a month ago! ...Except for the whole... dishonesty thing... but I lie too. Plenty. I just try to avoid lying to my friends.
The lyrics at the beginning (and end) are from It's Not A Fashion Statement, It's A Deathwish by My Chemical Romance


~I'm taking back the life you stole.~